The Anti-Super Bowl Party

Author: The Pepur Team
Category: Niche & Nostalgia
Reading Time: 4 min

The Super Bowl is an inescapable gravitational force. Even if you don't care about football, you will be invited to a house where men yell at a television and eat dip.

But what about the dissenters? The people who think a "touchdown" is when a plane lands?
They need a safe harbor.
They need the Anti-Super Bowl Party.

The Concept

This is not a protest. We do not hate sports. We just prefer other forms of entertainment.
The goal is to gather on the same day, eat the same trashy food, but consume different media.

The Alternatives

1. The Puppy Bowl Watch Party
Animal Planet airs the "Puppy Bowl" every year. It is exactly what it sounds like. Puppies in a stadium.
It is chaos. It is adorable. It is riveting television.
You bet on the puppies. "I got $5 on Fluffernutter to score a field goal."
Bonus: It usually airs in a loop, so you can tune in anytime.

2. Commercials Only Bingo
Some people only watch for the ads. Lean into it.
Mute the game. Unmute the commercials.
Play Bingo cards: "Celebrity selling crypto," "Car driving on a mountain," "Beer commercial with a horse."
It turns capitalism into a game.

3. The "Sportsball" Movie Marathon
Watch movies about sports that aren't sports.

• Air Bud (Dog plays basketball).
• Space Jam (Aliens play basketball).
• Bring It On (Cheerleading is a sport).

The Menu

The food is the one thing the Super Bowl gets right.
Wings. Nachos. Sliders.
Do not change the menu. Serve the grease.
We are here for the carbs, not the cardio.

Summary

You don't have to sit in a room pretending to understand what a "down" is. Reclaim the Sunday. Eat the dip. Watch the puppies.

A Few Questions You Were Probably Going To Google

Q: Will people actually come?
A: Yes. The "Sports Widow" demographic is huge. Partners who were left behind. People who just want to eat nachos without hearing screaming.

Q: Can I put the game on in the background?
A: No. That is a slippery slope. If you put the game on, someone will start watching it. Keep the TV on the puppies. Stand firm.

Q: What if I actually like the Halftime Show?
A: Tune in for 15 minutes. That is the demilitarized zone. Everyone is allowed to watch Rihanna. Then back to the puppies.